GREG GUTFELD: AI reveals what we already knew, conservatives are happier and more attractive than liberals (2024)

All right, happy almost Friday. Yeah, we can hang on one more day if we just believe. Especially if it's RedMeat Thursday.

SONG: Take your world view. Don't shake it up. Step in our bubble. Turn Fox News up! It's ******* RedMeat Thursday. Serving stuff you love. It's ******* RedMeat Thursday! Cause you agree with us. It's ******* RedMeat Thursday! Yeah, kiss my ***. If you don't like these politics, well, that's because you're a little ***** yeah.

I tell Jean, could you just put something together? And that's what he does. A sick little boy. Yeah. It's RedMeat Thursday when we tell you what you already knew to be true and everyone who disagrees could go f-themselves, to quote Dana Perino.

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Tonight's RedMeat, leftists are ugly. I know you knew that already. You've seen "The View," but now science is bearing it out. It's amazing. It begins with a new artificial intelligence study out of Denmark, which is a country I believe, turns out AI can now predict a person's political leanings with 61% accuracy, and it's based solely on their face. It's far more accurate than the old method, which was based on *** size. But when they judge the facial features used to make these political predictions, they found something else, the right-wingers were way hotter. Yeah, yeah, yeah, but with some notable exceptions, of course, he brought down the curve.

Fox News poll on artificial intelligence. (Fox News)

But now here's the boring part, Danish scientist, those are the kind with cheese or fruit filling. They fed 3,200 photos of political candidates into the AI tool to assess their emotional state. And after the analysis, they found that 80% displayed a happy expression, but behind those happy faces were conservative female politicians who looked happier and more attractive than liberals. Now reasons for this happiness abound, you're not surrounded by gloom and doom, and it's easier to walk in heels without cloven hooves, and I'm sure that bathing helps. But the study's authors note that such a finding makes sense because previous research has also highlighted this link between attractiveness and conservatism, which means it's a it's time for a gratuitous shot of Dana Perino. Isn't she lovely? Yeah, and that's without makeup. Here she is with makeup, yeah.

So why are conservatives so hot? What could be the reason for this? Are liberal women really uglier than conservative women? And is that why they still wear useless masks when driving alone in their tiny cars? Or could it be due to adopting an ideology of hopelessness based on the unfixable nature of an evil society and that begets their anger, which ultimately undermines their natural good looks? It's also hard to embrace beauty when those around you call any attention that you receive from your beauty a form of objectification, the male gaze. And so if they can't find beauty in the world, they denounce their own and destroy it with hair dye, piercings and cases of cheap frozen pizza. This could explain all those mug shots of female Antifa members, I mean talk about an ugly bunch, but they weren't always this way.

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Here they are before they embraced leftist dogma. Thank God I dumped them before they discovered MSNBC. So rather than look hot, they try to approximate the opposite as a political statement. And it's one you wouldn't want to sit next to on a bus. Meanwhile, the study also found that left leaning men had more neutral faces than conservative men, meaning they didn't look as happy. But I guess it's hard to look happy after they remove your balls. Seriously, how happy can you be if your wife forces you to go to drag queen story hour at the library? You're just a spineless sack of low testosterone and lacked the upper body strength to break free and run away. So left leaning men are better at hiding their emotions.

A Fox News poll on artificial intelligence. (Fox News)

Apparently they've got better poker faces, which makes sense, a good con man never lets the mark know how he really feels. And you get a lot of practice lying. If you're a man who claims to be a liberal, you got to lie all the time. "Oh, please, yes, dye your hair purple to commemorate Juneteenth." "I agree, Sarah Silverman, she's really funny." "Wow, this kale is delicious." So if you lie and lie, it makes sense that your face maintains an ominous paralysis. Yeah, he kind of always looks like he's facing somebody holding up a crucifix, but he's just been lying the whole time. So what does this mean for the future? If AI is this good at telling the difference between a liberal and a conservative based on a single photo, then what's next? Knowing the left they'll probably use this technology to keep conservatives under surveillance. Most journalists are already eager to dig through the personal life of anyone who criticizes a Democrat. They enjoy canceling people who stand in their way of a progressive but wholly miserable society.

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So what's next? Perhaps we just identify the happy people and let Skynet do the rest.