Chapter Text
Sasuke
The back hills of Konoha opened up like the spine of a book. Its greenery was covered in the night.
They were both standing between the trees shadowed under the canopy from the moon.
Sasuke was furious. It was as if his self destruction was somehow contagious, “If you go back now, you can tell them that I forced you into it, influenced you.”
“I’m not leaving you again,” Naruto stood there like some dreamt up entity in the dark.
“Konoha is your home, Naruto. This aimless night, these unknowns aren’t where you belong,” Sasuke was on the verge of tearing into the foliage, raging across the landscape.
Naruto stepped closer, Sasuke could see that f*cking grin on his face again. It was eerie in those half painted shadows.
“Sasuke…I choose you. I’d always choose you. I can’t lose you again. I can’t sit within those walls knowing you’re out here alone.”
Sasuke released a yell, “You f*cking idiot! What happened to the dream of being Hokage?! If you stay out here with me in the wilds, you’ll never achieve it!”
He could see in those night painted eyes in front of him. Naruto was resolute in his own destruction, “I don’t want it.”
Sasuke felt a twist in his chest, “What?”
Naruto’s tone was exacting in its bluntness, “I don’t want to be Hokage.”
The wind whipped around them, pulling at their clothes as if the forest was collecting them into its grasp. It was silent except for the rustling of leaves in that ominous breeze.
Sasuke’s voice carried into the trees, “You’re lying.”
Naruto ignored his accusation and pulled the two small backpacks off of his shoulder. He set them against a tree trunk, “I packed us some things that should last us a little while. That's your bag,” he pointed at the dark blue one.
Sasuke’s voice was low with a hint of a warning, “Naruto…”
Naruto stood in front of him and slowly sat on his knees in the grass as if he were within the walls of a temple. Sasuke blanched at the display.
Their temple of leaves and twigs.
He was looking up at Sasuke with such unabashed devotion that he felt outside of himself. He wasn’t worthy of this. Whatever this was.
Sasuke’s skin felt alight but he didn’t know if it was because of Naruto or the fact he was reeling with anger.
“Don’t…” Sasuke managed to speak against the rawness in his throat, “Stop looking at me like that.”
Naruto’s voice was so matter-of-fact as he stared up at him with those eyes, “I don’t want to be Hokage.”
Sasuke seethed, “f*ck you!”
He couldn't allow this, could he? This blatant disregard for self preservation.
Sasuke had already crumbled, he was the rubble they were studying, like some ruin.
He turned and walked briskly in the direction back to Konoha.
He heard Naruto stand from the dried leaves, “Sasuke, you can’t go back there.”
“I’ll tell them that I made you do this. They’ll believe the monster,” Sasuke relayed.
He felt Naruto’s hand wrap around his arm to tug him back. Sasuke furiously swung toward him, missing Naruto in a half hearted uncoordinated effort.
He didn’t need another battle but he couldn’t allow Naruto’s dreams to die inside of him.
“Sasuke!” Naruto yelled as he grabbed a hold of his shoulders to shake him, “I’m not lying.”
Sasuke snarled inches from his face, “Let go of me.”
Naruto refused, “We aren’t going back there.”
Sasuke flashed his Sharingan but Naruto didn’t flinch. He held his gaze as if he was accepting to whatever Sasuke wished to do to him.
It should have been disconcerting. Sasuke wanted it to invoke frustration. Instead a warmth bloomed in his ribcage. Naruto was the only person who wasn’t afraid of him.
Sasuke’s Sharingan faded to his dark eyes once more, “You can’t give up everything for me.”
Naruto shrugged, “I don’t think I’m giving anything up.”
Sasuke observed him with bewildered irritation as Naruto walked back to their packs and pulled out a food pill of all things.
“What the f*ck is going on?” Sasuke demanded.
“I’m not giving up on anything by being with you,” Naruto corrected, “You helped me accept things as they are.”
Sasuke blinked at him as his anger began to evolve into a bitter sorrow, “But this, all of this! What you just did. You’re a rogue shinobi now.”
Naruto’s smile faltered a little as he ignored Sasuke’s words. He pulled out an orange blanket and laid down, resting his head on his pack, “I’m exhausted. Aren’t you?”
Sasuke was weary of everything, there were too many webs to sift through. He felt as if he could collapse at any moment but how could he rest in the face of this?
Sasuke snapped, “They’ll hate you again for running away with me.”
“Goodnight, Sasuke.”
Those simple words reignited Sasuke’s anger, “I’ll go back to Konoha,” he threatened.
The only response was the soft snores that Naruto began to make. He had already fallen asleep during their argument. Somehow calling Sasuke’s bluff.
Sasuke exhaled loudly in frustration before he walked to him, eyeing the bag he had packed for him grumpily. He sat down against the tree beside Naruto’s sleeping form.
What the hell was he going to do?
They had already done the running away but now where would this take them?
Sasuke’s pointed glare began to fade as he observed Naruto sleep. He could see the dark circles under his eyes he hadn’t paid attention to before. It made him wonder if he slept at all since Sasuke had been imprisoned.
Konoha may have hated him before but now, stealing their prized hero away would be the final straw. They’d spread stories about how Sasuke had somehow manipulated Naruto using his Sharingan. They’d hunt him like some fiend.
Sasuke wondered if they did get caught, what would Naruto do? Would he plead with his friends, his shinobi warriors, or would he fight them for him?
He clenched his jaw tightly, looking out into the woods surrounding them. A dark unbidden thought crawled its way to the front of his awareness. Did he want that?
Naruto becoming a part of his shadow, a kunai for every friend.
What kind of monster was he to harbor any sort of want for that? It would bring nothing but agony, the pain he knew well.
But, Sasuke wasn’t one of those hero shinobi that Naruto grew up with. He was something nameless, the kind of night meant for that black tar pitch.
More of a demon than Kurama could ever be, isn’t that right?
Sasuke shook his head quickly, pressing his lips together as he rested his face in his hands. He couldn’t be that distorted thing that Konoha wanted him to be.
He was much worse.
–
He didn’t sleep that night. He stood guard like a sentry of the woods, listening to the forest wake up around them before the sun greeted the leaves.
He ate a disgusting food pill and shook Naruto’s shoulder to wake him.
Naruto blinked tiredly as he sat up with a tuft of grass in his blonde hair, “Uh…what is it?”
“It’s morning, we should get moving,” Sasuke stood, grabbing his backpack from the ground to put over his shoulder.
Naruto nodded, wobbly on his feet as he used the tree trunk for support. He didn’t seem to be fully awake yet, “I’m up…let’s go.”
Sasuke’s voice was low in the quiet, “Last chance to go back, Naruto.”
It was the last chance for him to save Naruto from him but it wasn’t his choice to make in the end. He wasn’t going to force him to do anything. If that meant abandoning everything that made him who he was then so be it.
That guilt that rested heavy on him the night before felt more like a feigned shield that Sasuke had put up. He wanted to feel guilty. He wanted to be the type of person to stop the spiral, but he wasn’t.
That was the difference though, he wanted to be what Konoha needed once but that was never him, not really. A part of him still resided there in that husk of the Uchiha compound but it was a grave he dug for himself. That small piece of his light when he was a child searching for his brother.
Naruto's voice interrupted his thoughts, “Are you okay, Sasuke?” He was looking at him with that open adoration. It brought back the curtain of his dread.
Sasuke took off, hopping onto the tree branches as Naruto quickly followed.
Naruto leaped amongst the tumbling leaves, “Where are we going?”
They needed to lay low, somewhere that was neutral to the shinobi way of life but the truth of it was he had no plan, not really. He never did.
“We’ll head northwest and decide from there,” Sasuke relayed.
The leaves whipped past them as a flock of birds took flight above them. The sun was a burn on his skin between the branches.
Naruto’s voice reached him between the wind, “Sasuke…I couldn’t let them destroy you.”
A warmth grew over the cold confines of his thoughts, “I know.”
There was the imperceptible pounding of his heart at those words. The very thing that made him feel real. It made his fingers tingle for the Chidori. It made him want to laugh the carefree way that he hadn’t since he was a child.
A small smile pulled at his lips as if someone else held the strings. He had trained himself against the feeling of want.
Naruto’s hand brushed against his, attempting to tangle their fingers together as they leaped. The surface of his mind wanted to hit his hand away, pretend as he usually did, but this time he opened his palm. Naruto slid his hand in his, maintaining the same speed.
–
By nightfall they sat on the dark hills that overlooked the glowing lights of a small village Sasuke didn’t know the name of. The wind was collecting around them in a caress, a chilled wind from the north. He wondered if it was calling them somewhere.
He turned to Naruto to see him observing the lights lost in his thoughts. There was a melancholy longing reflected in his eyes.
Sasuke observed someone pushing a cart far away on the road, “Do you miss Konoha already?”
That familiar smile appeared on Naruto’s face, overtaking his features, “I miss what it was supposed to stand for.”
The words were an odd combination with that smile. It didn’t reach his eyes.
Sasuke snapped, “Don’t pretend with me, Naruto.”
The smile faltered but a subdued version of it remained on his face, “You worry that I don’t want to be here.”
Sasuke swallowed as he turned towards the village in the distance, “I don’t-”
The breeze picked up as the atmosphere changed ever so slightly. It made him uneasy. Sasuke stood from the grass, startled.
He spotted a figure hidden in shadow approaching them along the hill.
Naruto quickly stood up beside him, “Who is that?”
Sasuke flashed his Sharingan, the red eating up the darkness as he breathed, “Kakashi…”
Naruto stiffened as his shoulder brushed against his. There was a moment of tense silence as Kakashi slowly approached them, guarded but calm. He held his palms up in front of him, “I only want to talk to you both.”
Sasuke snarled, “You want to put me back in a cage.”
“No,” Kakashi shook his head as he stopped his steps several feet from them, “That wasn’t my decision.”
Naruto stepped up in front of him, “Kakashi sensei…they were trying to incite the others in the prison against Sasuke. I had to get him out.”
Sasuke hadn’t realized that Naruto knew about that. He guessed that Naruto had spoken to one of the shinobi guards.
Kakashi’s shadowed eyes held Sasuke’s gaze. There was wariness beneath his concern, “Iruka wanted me to convince you to come back, but I know that’s not going to happen, is it?”
Naruto answered before he could, “I’m not going back.”
“Naruto…” Kakashi lowered his hands carefully, “I’m not going to force either of you.”
Sasuke stepped around his boisterous companion who was eyeing him with worry. It was as if the both of them expected him to bring out his Chidori, effectively ending the conversation.
Sasuke's words tumbled out of him, “Naruto should go back with you.”
Naruto’s yell was filled with fury and it echoed across the hillside, “No! Not without you!”
It wasn’t as if Sasuke wanted Naruto to leave but he recognized it as an attempt to save him one final time from the grief that would surely follow.
Sasuke’s eyes were like red daggers in the night, “You’re the one they care about. The one they want out of my grasp. Isn’t that right, Kakashi?”
Kakashi sighed as he blinked at Sasuke nearing him. Sasuke backed up on the defensive but he did nothing to show he was about to use force.
“Iruka will kill me for this…” Kakashi's eyes held an old sorrow of defeat, “But I can take you to the Land of Iron.”
Both Naruto and Sasuke glanced at each other in bewilderment, surprised at the turn of the conversation.
Sasuke couldn’t help but wonder if it was some sort of trap. One they set for him. His trust in anyone that wasn’t Naruto was nonexistent.
“Why would you do this? Why the Land of Iron?” Sasuke asked.
“I have connections there,” Kakashi nodded at him, “and I do this to save you both the grief of letting go. I’ve already seen what separation did to the both of you. As much as I want you to come back with me I know it’s not something you’ll do.”
Sasuke shook his head in disbelief, “You told me that I had to bear Hidden Leaf’s hatred, to endure and here you are forming our escape plan. I don’t trust it.”
Naruto was observing them both with a hopeful expression. He wanted to believe this was as it seemed but Sasuke was having a hard time reconciling it.
“I understand, Sasuke but I’m not here to be your warden,” Kakashi sunk his hands in his pockets as if this were a casual conversation.
A gust of wind carried through them as they stood there like shadowed pillars hidden from the lights of the village below. Sasuke felt disconnected from it all. That world, the shinobi world, wasn't a place he belonged.
Sasuke gritted his teeth, feeling the wound of the past still fresh in his thoughts, “And if we refuse your help?”
“You can refuse but it will be much harder to hide, to start again as you both seem to want to, “ Kakashi’s calm exterior set Sasuke on edge.
Was he stalling them? What was this?
A part of him from long ago rose to the surface inside of him. He thought for a moment that maybe this was merely his concern for Naruto who had become like a son to Kakashi. What if this was as simple as that?
He was always questioning the darkness and stamping down the remnants of hope. He wasn’t used to such a thing as unconditional ‘care’.
Everything he’d ever done had been a condition or a consequence.
How does one reshape?
He’d solidified long ago into the monster that he was.
In that space between them he wondered if this was a false hope that brimmed over the edges inside of him.
